Civility as a Weapon: The Performance of Power

Respectability politics and the suppression of resistance

Calls for "civility" in politics are often used by those in power who are engaged in systems of oppression to silence dissent, maintain hegemonic power structures, and retain patriarchal, capitalist norms.

Recent use of the word “cunt” in response to the trashing of pay equity claims for low-waged working women, and subsequent claims of victimhood are a classic example of respectability politics and the weaponizing of civility as a tool to suppress legitimate anger and resistance.

“The rage of the oppressed is never the same as the rage of the privileged.” ~ bell hooks

Civility as a tool of whiteness and class warfare

The performance of civility, particularly as evidenced by politicians enacting cruel policies against the working class, is a political tool. Civility has long been wielded by white women to uphold systems of racial and economic domination.

Scholars like Sara Ahmed and Robin DiAngelo clearly identify and describe in detail how the use of civility, tone-policing, and white feminine respectability are weaponised in order to shut down critique and suppress resistance, particularly from those most harmed by structural violence and oppressive policies.

Civility (framed as politeness, respectability, or non-confrontational discourse) is most frequently deployed by white women engaged in upholding hegemonic norms. These norms punish expressions of rage, dissent, or assertiveness, and are compounded when coming from Black, Indigenous, and/or minoritized women of colour. Civility thus becomes a mechanism of social control, maintaining the appearance of legitimate disagreement while repressing valid forms of resistance.

As Sara Ahmed explains in Living a Feminist Life, arguments about civility (such as the use of the word cunt) are typically utilised in order to suppress dissent. Those making these arguments are in positions of power and are not interested in listening. It is an attempt to silence protest and make it palatable for the wealthy and privileged. Robin DiAngelo observes in White Fragility how white women position themselves as victims when confronted with their complicity in racism, invoking emotional distress to redirect critique and silence the efforts others make to hold them accountable for their actions.

Sound familiar? A recent social media post by the Minister of Finance ringing any bells yet? Shift the focus to class and there are clear parallels with the racialised practices Ahmed and DiAngelo describe.

The Role of Respectability Politics and Political Gaslighting

Women aligning themselves with hegemonic power invoke “respectability” as a means to which delegitimize groups engaging in forms of protest, civil disobedience, and/or direct and coarse language. These invocations uphold classed and racialized expectations of decorum, and are deeply rooted in colonial and patriarchal values. Black feminist scholars (e.g., Angela Davis, Brittney Cooper) have long argued that demands for respectability by people in positions of power work to suppress anger and limit expressions of resistance by those most affected/excluded.

The recent political theatre by NACT women taps into notions of female fragility. These are the defensive moves people make when their privileges are challenged. While DiAngelo focusses on the racialised nature of whiteness and power, parallels with class can be drawn. Recent political speeches and social media posts by NACT women are notable for centring their discomfort and casting themselves as victims, when in reality they are being held to account for the harm their legislative efforts are causing to working class women.

These tactics align with what Allison Bailey terms privilege-protecting epistemic pushback. This term describes the way dominant groups (those with power, wealth, and privilege) deflect uncomfortable truths by appealing to tone, objectivity, or emotional harm. This isn’t just personal, it is systemic. Power is replicating itself while simultaneously claiming to be under threat. As bell hooks and Brittney Cooper argue, white women have historically used their social position to shield whiteness from accountability, often portraying themselves as innocents in the face of Black or Indigenous anger. The unspoken rule? Anger from the left and the working class is dangerous but anger from the right, dressed up as concern or policy, is leadership.

Minister for Workplace Relations and Safety Brooke van Velden. Photo credit: Chino Barrett-Lovie / Stuff. Sourced from https://www.thepost.co.nz/politics/360679385/pay-equity-slashing-sub-plot-much-larger-game

Civility as Class Warfare and Cover for Structural Violence

Civility rhetoric often conceals the violent realities of economic exploitation. By insisting that critiques of capitalism, poverty, or inequality be expressed in polite terms and language, women in positions of privilege delegitimize disruptive resistance and protests that challenge the status quo. Nancy Fraser’s work critiques how liberal feminism, particularly that led by white middle-class women, has been co-opted by neoliberalism to focus on inclusion into existing capitalist structures rather than challenging economic injustice itself. bell hooks in Feminism is for Everybody underscores how white middle-class women have historically shaped feminist discourse in ways that exclude working-class and racialized women, often prioritizing access to privilege over structural transformation.

ACT’s policy platform champions hyper-individualism, market fundamentalism, and actively dismantles social protections. These policies aren’t just economic choices; they are expressions of class warfare. Yet when these ideologies are challenged, and anger is expressed, the party politicians cast themselves as the voice of reason in contrast to those they imply are “overly angry,” “too emotional,” or simply “unconstructive.”

This is not new. As Sara Ahmed notes in Living a Feminist Life, dominant actors characterize opposition to inequality as uncivil, effectively punishing those who refuse to express their anger in palatable ways. When Willis, van Velden, and others dismisses protest or critique as unproductive or disrespectful, they are not engaging in debate but rather are performing a well-worn role in upholding systems that benefit themselves (and the monied and powerful interests they represent).

Holding a political persona of poise and reasonableness is not a neutral presentation, but rather a deeply classed one. By deflecting critiques of harm through centring their own feminine discomfort, politicians enacting policies of harm position themselves as being under unfair attack when being criticized for their dismantling of worker’s rights.

This tactic leverages feminine respectability to shut down necessary conversations about unjust and unfair policies and legislation. As Brittany Cooper and bell hooks argue, women’s emotional self-positioning often delegitimizes the righteous anger of those confronting oppression. Holding composure thus becomes a shield behind which women in positions of power promotes policies that undermine pay equity and working class rights while simultaneously framing critics as irrational or even threatening. The recent back and forth about the use of the word cunt in protest marches and in Op-Ed’s springs to mind.

Emotionality and Victimhood as Strategic Tools

White women’s performance of fragility, particularly through tears or claims of emotional harm, can serve as a powerful weapon. This behaviour shifts the focus from structural critique to individual emotional comfort, recentres their feelings, and casts those resisting oppression as aggressors. Layla Saad in Me and White Supremacy discusses the recurring role of white women’s emotional reactions in derailing conversations about racism and recentralizing white comfort. As previously noted, this is a classic technique described by Allison Bailey in Tracking Privilege-Preserving Epistemic Pushback in Feminist and Critical Race Philosophy. It is a form of privilege-protecting epistemic pushback whereby those in privileged positions deflect challenges to their worldview through appeals to civility, tone, or hurt feelings.

But there is nothing fragile about slashing pay equity claims, dismantling the protections of Te Tiriti, or seeking to protect monied interests. These are extreme acts with devastating consequences. To frame opposition to them as uncivil or hysterical is gaslighting on a political scale.

To conclude…

The use of civility as political tool is not neutral. Rather, it functions to maintain power and the capitalist status quo. By prioritizing tone over substance, and valuing emotional comfort over justice, civility becomes a weapon to delegitimize dissent, uphold systemic inequality, and suppress class-conscious resistance. This dynamic is deeply embedded across a variety of institutional norms and must be critically examined to achieve transformative social change.

To that end, let me say that denying women equitable wages is a very cunty thing to do. The pay equity amendment legislation looks like, sounds like, and reads like a very anti-women, anti-feminist bill. As such it is a cunty bill and so are its architects and supporters. As for so-called civility, I refuse to be civil in the face of uncivil policies and legislation that target working class women. Make no mistake, this is a class war and deserves to be treated as such.

Requiring we adhere to classed and racialised notions of civility has no place in the resistance to this attack on the working classes.

Addendum - Breaking news

I’ve just caught up with the news of the suspension of members of the Te Pati Māori for their culturally embedded practice and resistance. This is hegemonic power on full display, re-exerting itself against Indigenous resistance.

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Recommended reading (or, a very short list of incredible black feminist scholars).

• Ahmed, S. (2017). Living a Feminist Life. Duke University Press.

• Bailey, A. (2018). "Privilege-Preserving Epistemic Pushback." In The Routledge Handbook of Epistemic Injustice.

• Cooper, B. (2018). Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower. St. Martin’s Press.

• Davis, A. (1983). Women, Race, & Class. Random House.

• DiAngelo, R. (2018). White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism. Beacon Press.

• Fraser, N. (2013). Fortunes of Feminism: From State-Managed Capitalism to Neoliberal Crisis. Verso Books.

• hooks, b. (2000). Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. South End Press.

• Saad, L. F. (2020). Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor. Sourcebooks.